Successful Women – Are You a Connector?

The 4 Types Of People You Need On Your Leadership Team can be related to this powerful book, Think Like A Monk, I believe Jay Shetty gives us a reason why we so often feel let down by those we look to as we grow as leaders. He writes, “We tend to expect every person to be a complete package, giving us everything we need.

This is setting the bar impossibly high.” He goes on to talk about the “Four Cs of Trust” we need from the people in our life if we are to thrive.

• Have you ever sought advice about a leadership challenge from a friend, only to feel like their answer was lacking?
• Do you sometimes find that talking about being burned out doesn’t seem of interest to your colleagues at work?
• Are you frustrated at work because the person you report to isn’t modeling effective leadership principles?

While I believe these “Cs” are needed by all human beings, I think it’s especially important for leaders or managers to intentionally cultivate relationships that embody these characteristics. Let’s look at the value of each one as it relates to leadership:

Your Leadership Team

Competence: List your top three current leadership challenges. Who do you know who has experience in those areas? Could you have a conversation with them to get the help you need?

Care: As you’re pouring out so much of yourself in the service of others, who is looking out for YOU as a person? Who checks in to see how you’re doing with your responsibilities outside of work?

Character: As you make tough decisions and are tempted to compromise on your values, who is that person you look up to that reminds you it’s not worth it? Or would be a good sounding board as you navigate that decision?

Consistency: Having someone to whom you can always turn to vent, gripe, complain, celebrate, or pontificate is essential for leaders. Who is that person for you?

What I find interesting in using his model is that it’s changed how I approach many of the conversations with the people in my work and life. It’s helped me to not put as much pressure on others for guidance or advice. I might talk to a close friend (consistency) about a work issue, but I don’t expect them to have the perspective to solve my problem.

I also don’t get as frustrated when someone I’ve reached out to for professional guidance (competence) isn’t as warm or friendly as I’d like. That’s not the reason they are in my world right now.

I’ve even found myself thinking before a call or chat with someone, this is going to be a “care” conversation or one where I need to explore how to make a decision that best aligns with my values (character).

In my coaching, I’ve also used the model as an informal assessment of the health of the relationships of a client. I was surprised the other day when a client looked at the model on their screen and immediately said, “I have plenty of ‘competence’ people in my life, but what I don’t have a readily available is someone looking out for my well-being.”

Of course the same person might fit the role for more than one area over time. The key is to know what you’re looking to get from the interaction with them and guide the conversation in that direction.

There’s an old adage that “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” Maybe an effective next step is to ask, “Which of the Four Cs will they be for me?”