Author: Mark Grobbelaar
One evening in December 1994 a life-threatening situation with a friend of mine was getting her washing off the passenger seat of her car when the door opened, a man put a knife to her throat and said, “Move over or I’ll kill you.” She moved over into the passenger seat, and even helped him […]
One evening in December 1994 a life-threatening situation with a friend of mine was getting her washing off the passenger seat of her car when the door opened, a man put a knife to her throat and said, “Move over or I’ll kill you.”
She moved over into the passenger seat, and even helped him start the car because the ignition was faulty.
They drove into town where they picked up a friend of his. They then drove to a secluded beach where they both raped her, slit her throat multiple times, disembowelled her and left her for dead.
ADVERTISING
The story of Alison, who survived this ordeal, shocked the nation, but it was this event that changed the course of my life.
After speaking to Alison about her ordeal, I wrote a thesis for my fifth-dan karate grading on “self-defence for women” because I realised that Alison had made the wrong choice. She just hadn’t known any better. She did not know she had choices and what they were. Had she known, she would have chosen a different course.
You need to decide what you are going to choose. Doing nothing (freezing) when you don’t know what else to do is very different to when you choose to do nothing, knowing all the options. I believe you will be able to live with your decision better.
I sent Alison a copy of my thesis and she called me and asked, “Why did I do nothing?”
I said, “Ali, you didn’t have a choice. You didn’t know all the options!”
She was a victim, and no one should ever blame a victim for what happens to them, but that doesn’t mean we can’t learn from our choices, as Alison has. She has also said that if she lived her life again she would go through that again to be where she is today, something that I still find amazing.
There are only three things you can choose to do in a life-threatening situation: ONLY three!
Flight, fight or freeze.
The most important of these is always flight. Leave the situation if you can. Get away! Trust your gut. When something feels wrong, it is wrong. Leave!
Don’t go looking for what it is to prove yourself right.
If you can’t leave or you choose not to leave, there are only two things left: fight or do nothing.
The term “fighting” is a little confusing. During my INpowered sessions, I always ask: “How long does it take the average person to learn how to fight?”
The answers range from a few years to a long time … the answer, however, is that the average person will probably NEVER learn how to fight. Not properly, anyway. Fighting is an art and requires many hours of training and dedication – we are not talking about “brawling”, which every guy thinks he can do after a few cold ones.
Something I believe is key and which most self-defence practitioners or “Friss Chris Frikkies” as I like to call them, don’t seem to realise or tell you is that anything you do to a would-be attacker that does not immobilise him is going to more than likely make matters worse.
Or, as I like to say, “If it does not switch him off, it’s going to piss him off!”
Do you want to infuriate a person that is intent on hurting you anyway and has probably done it many times before? Of course not. You need to immobilise him.
So, fighting in a life-or-death situation when you are not highly trained is not a good idea.
Which is why I replace the word fight with immobilise or incapacitate. If you know one thing, one thing that you will never forget, that you know can immobilise anybody, you will have a choice that most people do not have – an option that could perhaps save your life.
I’ve had many people say they would rather do NOTHING and hopefully make it out alive, while others say they would rather DIE than just submit. There is no right answer here, unfortunately.
But how do you make that decision if you do not know all the options?
Choice is so powerful and is sometimes all we have. When someone stops you from leaving a situation that you feel is threatening, they have taken away one of your choices and you only have two left.
They say that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you choose to react to it.
Alison made the wrong choice that evening, and this is something I will discuss in a future column, but she also chose to live and she chose to turn what happened to her into a positive, and has gone on to touch thousands of lives with her story.
If it wasn’t for her decision that night, I would never have found my own path as the founder of INpowered.
They say the two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. The day Alison chose to live was the day she helped me find my why, and I know my life’s mission is to help you to understand that you always have a choice!
Contact Us at WeSpeak Global and follow us on Twitter
The articles, video and images embedded on these pages are from various speakers and talent.
These remain the property of its owner and are not affiliated with or endorsed by WeSpeak Global.
Unveiling the Secrets of Successful Keynote Speaker Booking: Insights from a Meeting Planner To learn more about booking a keynote speaker tailored to your event’s specific needs, please don’t hesitate to contact us. Our experienced team is ready to provide expert guidance and help make your next event an unforgettable success. A Meeting Planner’s Perspective […]
LONG LIVE THE COMFORT ZONE. It’s been getting a bad rap for years! Popular activities for team-building include exercises to help teams think outside the box, workshops that force us outside our comfort zones, seminars are designed to inspire attendees to embrace discomfort in the name of personal growth … the list goes on. As […]
Sharing a grand vision is important, but often employees want to know they’re being led by someone who also has two feet firmly on the ground with BEER AND BASEBALL Many years back, I sat in an audience, watching my CEO hitch up his pants in between sentences, sip from his water, and mumble about […]
To risk or not to Risk – could I cope with 12 pairs of gloves? The quandary: There’s a question on many female’s hearts and minds this week as the 29th looms ahead about whether to really pop THE question. It might also be on everyone’s hearts and minds wondering if they might be the […]
Hey there, are you a white person wondering what Things You Can Do As An Ally for Black people right now? A lot of my white friends have been asking, you’re not alone. I’ve received several questions from friends wanting to do something so I thought I’d compile these all on one place. This is […]
Think Yourself Thin reaches no.1 Best Seller rank on Amazon VANCOUVER, July 19, 2016 /CNW Telbec/ – Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas, inspirational speaker and Life Coach, tops Amazon.com bestseller lists with her new book Think Yourself Thin. In Think Yourself Thin, Nathalie combines her experience in life coaching, fitness, nutrition and Neuro-Linguistic Programming into a system that shows you how to reprogram […]
If you’ve ever sat through a presentation that left you wondering if you showed up at the wrong venue, most likely the organiser and planner didn’t put much thought into HIRING KEYNOTE SPEAKER. When investing in a keynote speaker you want to get the most bang for your buck, especially considering some of the exorbitant […]
Raizcorp supports over 500 businesses, find out their innovative selection process and how success can be your downfall. Allon Raiz, is a successful entrepreneur building numerous businesses and he is the founder of Raizcorp which nurtures entrepreneurs and grows profitable businesses. How Allon Raiz Went From A Failed Business To Raizcorp Allon Raiz is regarded […]
No results available
Our Mission
© All rights reserved 2025. Created using VOXEL THEME