Author: Veli Ndaba
“How you see yourself determines what you see for yourself, Are You Externally or Internally Driven?.” Veli Ndaba – ‘The NeuroEngineer’ Self-esteem represents an overall evaluation of oneself – the extent to which one feels positively rather than negatively toward oneself – and views oneself as a person of value and worth. Contingent self-esteem is […]
“How you see yourself determines what you see for yourself, Are You Externally or Internally Driven?.” Veli Ndaba – ‘The NeuroEngineer’
Self-esteem represents an overall evaluation of oneself – the extent to which one feels positively rather than negatively toward oneself – and views oneself as a person of value and worth. Contingent self-esteem is self-esteem that depends on meeting self-imposed standards or expectations for performance, approval, or acceptance in order to be maintained. Contingent means: dependent, conditional, subject to, based on, determined by.
Contingent self-esteem (CSE) is self-esteem based on the approval of others or on social comparisons. Certain events will shape one’s self-esteem when the individual bases their self-worth on the outcome of those events. The success or failure of any situation can result in fluctuations of an individual’s self-esteem and if they are Externally or Internally Driven.
A manifestation of someone with contingent self-esteem is excessive self-consciousness. Such excessive self-consciousness, as occurs with contingent self-esteem, involves extreme criticism of one’s self, concern of how they are perceived by their peers, and feelings of discomfort in social settings. One’s self-esteem is directly affected when domains of contingencies are used to measure one’s self-worth. Self-esteem can also be affected when an individual compares their appearance or success to that of someone else or when their self-esteem is contingent to the relationships around them.
People with high levels of CSE are prone to making social comparisons based on appearance. As a result, these individuals more than often feel diminished. Appearance related social comparisons are comparisons of one’s perceived appearance to the appearance of other people. Those who make social comparisons base their feelings of self-worth on meeting social standards and expectations.
Social media is notorious for creating unrealistic standards of beauty, success and happiness. Comparisons with media standards can cause an individual with high levels of CSE to acquire feelings of inadequacy.
Veli Ndaba is a NeuroEngineering Leadership Effect Speaker and Trainer, Brain Coach and Author of four books (You Are Born to Win, Your Dream is Calling You and SWITCH ON! And Set Your Soul On Fire!) and Newspaper Columnist. To book him to speak at your next event or to help you and your team unleash your greatness, Are You Externally or Internally Driven?
Contact Us at WeSpeak Global and follow us on Twitter
The articles, video and images embedded on these pages are from various speakers and talent.
These remain the property of its owner and are not affiliated with or endorsed by WeSpeak Global.
In his new book, “Can’t Hurt Me,” David Goggins, who many call the “toughest man alive,” recalls how he overcame a difficult childhood to become a Navy SEAL. He sits down with Craig Melvin to discuss the lessons he learned about the body’s capabilities. READ FULL ARTICLE Contact Us at WeSpeak Global and […]
Before the pandemic, we saw a clear Qubit mindset trend in evolving away from binary thinking and extending our thinking to the endless possibilities between 1 and 0. Gender identity no longer has to correspond with the one ‘given’ at birth. Business profit could go hand in hand with improved human and societal justice. Embracing […]
Do you remember THE BAIT SWITCH DOES NOT WORK and the first time you were disappointed by a large organisation? My earliest memory of corporate greed (we all have those, right?) was what I recall being a few months after Smarties Mini Eggs were launched in South Africa. As a lifelong fan of the traditional […]
It is with earth-shaking sadness to share with you the Passing of Claire Janisch, our dear course director and facilitator, friend and colleague, has passed away peacefully on Monday the 7th of Feb 2022, surrounded by family and friends, at her home in the Midlands, KwaZulu Natal, South Africa. Claire brought Learn Biomimicry team together, where […]
Push through the bad to get to good / Shifting spaces / Challenges of the Pacific / Don’t get run over / Injuries / Warnings / Water struggles & just Figuring it out then Man overboard-Captain! Over the last 12 days, I’ve traveled just over 400 Nautical miles SW. I’ve passed by the US […]
Problems, obstacles or roadblocks of some kind inevitably pop up on the way to our goals. I was recently reminded of a story about a dog and rabbit that exemplifies that oftentimes, problems may not be exactly what they seem to be on the surface. It takes courage to look deeper, even though it might […]
I had a recent team meeting where I brought our Caring Inclusive Listening Leadership coaches together to discuss an idea regarding the community. The call ended up going in an entirely different direction, but ended up in an amazing place. As the conversation grew, many strong opinions came forth on all sides, but I trusted each of them […]
Eddie Botes, Leadership and Culture Speaker wrote this article, Critical Thinking for the Adaptive Leader. VUCA is an acronym that is now well established as a description of the business world that we currently operate in. In a Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, and Ambiguous world, there is no going back to the familiar and predictable world before the global financial […]
Our Mission
© All rights reserved 2025. Created using VOXEL THEME
