The Reality of What Makes People Click

  • Atlanta, Georgia, United States

Author:  Ryan Jenkins

Short Description

Connection with someone takes more than common interests of What Makes People Click. It also takes this. Do you know who created the world’s first social network? It wasn’t Zuckerberg, Dorsey, or Tom from MySpace. It was the person who kindled the first fire. The fire’s loud crackling, billowing smoke, and beautiful orange glow attracted others […]

Connection with someone takes more than common interests of What Makes People Click. It also takes this.

Do you know who created the world’s first social network? It wasn’t Zuckerberg, Dorsey, or Tom from MySpace.

It was the person who kindled the first fire. The fire’s loud crackling, billowing smoke, and beautiful orange glow attracted others in the village towards it. Soon everyone was gathered around basking in the warmth of the flames.

The discovery of fire changed everything. Fire became a cornerstone of human survival. It was instrumental in protecting the village from predators, cooking food, and providing light in the dark. And it transformed how people connected. The light from a fire extended the day giving humans more time to connect, providing warmth that wondrously enabled relationships to deepen like never before. People clicked over the flick of flames.

A recent study of the Ju/’hoan hunter-gatherers of the southern African countries of Namibia and Botswana found major differences between firelit talk and non-firelit talk to What Makes People Click. When the Ju/’hoan weren’t around a fire, their conversations centered on “practicalities and sanctioning gossip.” Firelit conversations, however, “evoked the imagination, helped people remember and understand others in their external networks, healed rifts of the day, and conveyed information about cultural institutions that generate regularity of behavior and corresponding trust.”

Fireside conversations put people on the same emotional wavelength, elicited understanding, and elevated trust and empathy, ultimately strengthening people’s social networks. It was also common for the Ju/’hoan to sing while sitting around a fire. To this day, the comfort and security we feel when we sit by an open fire can be traced to our ancient ancestors who utilized fire as a social and survival essential.

Fire then, and still today, cultivated so much connection between people because it created a shared reality. Individuals were jointly experiencing something beyond themselves in real time and What Makes People Click.

The Reality of What Makes People Click

According to Columbia University psychologist Maya Rossignac-Milon, the theory of shared reality suggests that we are most likely to feel closer to each other when we turn our mutual attention to something beyond ourselves and What Makes People Click. That’s exactly what happened to the Ju/’hoan. No fire (or shared reality) and their conversations were superficial. With fire (or a shared reality) and conversation elevated, causing connections to thrive.

Shared reality is the third party in any social connection. And it matters. It’s not enough to have common interests with a friend or colleague but to share experiences together.

According to Paul Eastwick, a professor of psychology at the University of California at Davis who studies close relationships, “[Shared reality] serves as a reminder that similarity is often a thing that two people create or discover together in the moment. It wasn’t ‘there’ on paper before the interaction took place.” Often our urge is to connect with people who are similar to us, but shared reality theory suggests we may not know what those similarities are until we meet the other person. It’s not so much about with whom we are talking but what we are talking about.

Have you ever been on a delayed flight while on the runway and noticed how chatty some passengers become with complete strangers? The reason for the instant connections is a shared reality. The delayed flight becomes the new reality that every passenger shares. A shared reality serves as a triangulation point between two individuals that knits them closer together.

Additionally, spaces like museums or art galleries provide the material you need to create a shared reality with another person. What Makes People Click shared reality pushes conversations to be about the world around us rather than ourselves.

Strengthen Pairing Through Reality Sharing

With this understanding of shared reality, it’s clear how technology can break our social connections. If while at an art gallery, instead of consuming the same piece of art, someone is on their phone, the reality isn’t shared. While you may be sharing the same space, the full reality isn’t shared, thus hindering the potential for a connection.

Remote work environments (video calls, Slack channels, asynchronous collaboration tools, etc.) can also have a detrimental effect on people’s ability to construct shared realities. By definition, these virtual environments strip out the external world and severely limit shared realities from occurring.

If your goal is to strengthen team connections, get out of the office. Share a new reality. For in-person teams, get together out of the office. For remote or hybrid teams, get together out of your office and find What Makes People Click.

Getting out of the office enables colleagues to make sense of a new environment together, cementing relationships in the process. Whether it’s monthly, quarterly, or annually, make shared realities a priority because social connection is imperative to the health and performance of any team or community.

Want help creating a more connected, human-centered team with What Makes People Click? Contact Ryan to explore working together here.

What Makes People Click Article published by Ryan Jenkins on LinkedIn

Contact Us at WeSpeak Global and follow us on Twitter

Author Profile

The articles, video and images embedded on these pages are from various speakers and talent.

These remain the property of its owner and are not affiliated with or endorsed by WeSpeak Global.

Similar to The Reality of What Makes People Click

WS Logo 512

Tani Moodley is based in Cape Town, South Africa. She is a seasoned HR Advisor with a career spanning over 20 years in mining, exploration, online marketing and financial services. Tani Moodley has produced the Vlog on Moments of Transition for WeSpeak Global. As a parent I am constantly preoccupied with the kind of world […]

  • Author: Tani Amarasinghe Moodley
Joni Peddie

Drink more water! About 60-70% of the body is made of water, so drinking enough of it helps maintain the body’s fluid balance. This assists in transporting the relevant nutrients throughout the body, helps to regulate body temperature, and is a vital ingredient in good digestion. Besides flushing out toxins and maintaining regular bowel habits, […]

  • Author: Joni Peddie
kelly swanson - Why Leaders Need To Be Good Storytellers

Me to My Husband, Bill:     Bill – look! My phone is blowing UP with all these stories about people getting this flesh-eating bacteria from getting into the ocean! Bill:    You’re kidding. (Not even breaking stride in his email checking) Me:     It’s true! It’s right here. A man who’s about to lose his arm. A 12-year old who is about […]

  • Author: Kelly Swanson
How do you motivate yourselves - 25 YEARS IN BUSINESS

It has been said that “one should never let A Good Crisis go to waste”. I am an eternal optimist and I believe that in the midst of any crisis is opportunity. My diary has gone from an anxiety-inducing jam-packed schedule for the next month to having most meetings and events cancelled. Many people are […]

  • Author: Cindy Norcott
WS Logo 512

Is email is killing your company your primary method for communicating with your colleagues? Then you have picked up a dangerous habit that is killing your company. Here’s why. 1. Email exacerbates knowledge hoarding What is your companies most important asset? Knowledge! It might not be booked to the balance sheet but your value is […]

  • Author: Colin Iles
Christian Kromme

Ultrafast Computers Are Coming: Laser Bursts Drive Fastest-Ever Logic Gates. Go Digital What Happened? We are on the cusp of creating ultrafast computers that can operate at speeds much faster than anything we have today. How? By using laser bursts to drive the fastest-ever logic gates. This breakthrough was made possible by clarifying the role […]

  • Author: Christian Kromme
Laila Ali

While microwave ovens were created for convenience here is Why You Should Toss Your Microwave, the dangers and negative effects you are about to read just may make you want to stop using it altogether.   As more research has been done, studies have shown that not only the microwave itself can cause danger to […]

  • Author: Laila Ali
Mike Walsh

‘There is no remote work for A TECH-DRIVEN WORLD POST-PANDEMIC. There is only work, THE NEW RULES’ futurist Mike Walsh said during a session on the future of the industry at the Schwab Impact conference. The pandemic has forced the working world to evolve technologically much faster than at any time in recent history, effectively […]

  • Author: Mike Walsh

Our Mission

We are your partner creating memorable and engaging experiences that go beyond the event itself.

© All rights reserved 2025. Created using VOXEL THEME