Author: Veli Ndaba
“How you see yourself determines what you see for yourself, Are You Externally or Internally Driven?.” Veli Ndaba – ‘The NeuroEngineer’ Self-esteem represents an overall evaluation of oneself – the extent to which one feels positively rather than negatively toward oneself – and views oneself as a person of value and worth. Contingent self-esteem is […]
“How you see yourself determines what you see for yourself, Are You Externally or Internally Driven?.” Veli Ndaba – ‘The NeuroEngineer’
Self-esteem represents an overall evaluation of oneself – the extent to which one feels positively rather than negatively toward oneself – and views oneself as a person of value and worth. Contingent self-esteem is self-esteem that depends on meeting self-imposed standards or expectations for performance, approval, or acceptance in order to be maintained. Contingent means: dependent, conditional, subject to, based on, determined by.
Contingent self-esteem (CSE) is self-esteem based on the approval of others or on social comparisons. Certain events will shape one’s self-esteem when the individual bases their self-worth on the outcome of those events. The success or failure of any situation can result in fluctuations of an individual’s self-esteem and if they are Externally or Internally Driven.
A manifestation of someone with contingent self-esteem is excessive self-consciousness. Such excessive self-consciousness, as occurs with contingent self-esteem, involves extreme criticism of one’s self, concern of how they are perceived by their peers, and feelings of discomfort in social settings. One’s self-esteem is directly affected when domains of contingencies are used to measure one’s self-worth. Self-esteem can also be affected when an individual compares their appearance or success to that of someone else or when their self-esteem is contingent to the relationships around them.
People with high levels of CSE are prone to making social comparisons based on appearance. As a result, these individuals more than often feel diminished. Appearance related social comparisons are comparisons of one’s perceived appearance to the appearance of other people. Those who make social comparisons base their feelings of self-worth on meeting social standards and expectations.
Social media is notorious for creating unrealistic standards of beauty, success and happiness. Comparisons with media standards can cause an individual with high levels of CSE to acquire feelings of inadequacy.
Veli Ndaba is a NeuroEngineering Leadership Effect Speaker and Trainer, Brain Coach and Author of four books (You Are Born to Win, Your Dream is Calling You and SWITCH ON! And Set Your Soul On Fire!) and Newspaper Columnist. To book him to speak at your next event or to help you and your team unleash your greatness, Are You Externally or Internally Driven?
Contact Us at WeSpeak Global and follow us on Twitter
The articles, video and images embedded on these pages are from various speakers and talent.
These remain the property of its owner and are not affiliated with or endorsed by WeSpeak Global.
Last month, something happened to me at an event that hasn’t happened in well over a decade and How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking. I wish it were something cool like audience members throwing money and candy at me as they cheered “Bravo!” and “Encore!” But that’s never happened, and probably never will. […]
Zigazoo is the new “TikTok” for kids. In a nutshell, it’s an education/entertainment app, which engages students in meaningful learning and problem-solving activities whilst entertaining them. It doesn’t seem so harmful, does it? But, is it safe for kids? The terms of service (but not the app description) clearly state that Zigazoo is meant to […]
I mean, isn’t that the nature of goals to begin with? What’s missing between you and your goals might be walking the walk of your goals — not just talking the talk. Or rather, running the run of your goals. I’ll tell you what I mean. Goals are easy to think of but harder to achieve, aren’t […]
A lot has happened in the past few years since my book, We’re Really All In This Together: Creating a Team Culture of High Performance, Trust, and Belonging, was first published in the spring of 2020. I completed the manuscript for this book (which was just released this week in paperback) at the end of 2019. I […]
Sara Sutton Fell, the founder of 1 Million for Work Flexibility, and CEO and founder of FlexJobs, shares tips on how to negotiate workplace flexibility. Workplace flexibility is not just an issue that impacts working women; working men are also eager for solutions that help them balance work and home, and a new survey […]
Here are 3 things I have now that a 6-figure salary couldn’t give me after I left my $500,000 a year job to start my own company, and I couldn’t be happier. On paper, everything about my career was amazing. I’d become the CEO of a large company at the age of 42. In less […]
In today’s fast-paced, rapidly changing world, with such high expectations of #leaders, the challenges for leaders are high demanding and complex and HOW TO AVOID BURNOUT. Know the most effective leaders are the ones that prioritize #selfcare. HOW TO AVOID BURNOUT – VIDEO It is only when you take care of your emotional well-being, […]
It is All about perspective as I type this, I am in Jeffreys Bay in a Motorhome overlooking the ocean with my woman after traveling over 1000kms through the country and I am in awe of the things that I’ve been able to witness. Driving through the small towns that literally span not more than […]
Our Mission
© All rights reserved 2025. Created using VOXEL THEME
