Author: Veli Ndaba
“How you see yourself determines what you see for yourself, Are You Externally or Internally Driven?.” Veli Ndaba – ‘The NeuroEngineer’ Self-esteem represents an overall evaluation of oneself – the extent to which one feels positively rather than negatively toward oneself – and views oneself as a person of value and worth. Contingent self-esteem is […]
“How you see yourself determines what you see for yourself, Are You Externally or Internally Driven?.” Veli Ndaba – ‘The NeuroEngineer’
Self-esteem represents an overall evaluation of oneself – the extent to which one feels positively rather than negatively toward oneself – and views oneself as a person of value and worth. Contingent self-esteem is self-esteem that depends on meeting self-imposed standards or expectations for performance, approval, or acceptance in order to be maintained. Contingent means: dependent, conditional, subject to, based on, determined by.
Contingent self-esteem (CSE) is self-esteem based on the approval of others or on social comparisons. Certain events will shape one’s self-esteem when the individual bases their self-worth on the outcome of those events. The success or failure of any situation can result in fluctuations of an individual’s self-esteem and if they are Externally or Internally Driven.
A manifestation of someone with contingent self-esteem is excessive self-consciousness. Such excessive self-consciousness, as occurs with contingent self-esteem, involves extreme criticism of one’s self, concern of how they are perceived by their peers, and feelings of discomfort in social settings. One’s self-esteem is directly affected when domains of contingencies are used to measure one’s self-worth. Self-esteem can also be affected when an individual compares their appearance or success to that of someone else or when their self-esteem is contingent to the relationships around them.
People with high levels of CSE are prone to making social comparisons based on appearance. As a result, these individuals more than often feel diminished. Appearance related social comparisons are comparisons of one’s perceived appearance to the appearance of other people. Those who make social comparisons base their feelings of self-worth on meeting social standards and expectations.
Social media is notorious for creating unrealistic standards of beauty, success and happiness. Comparisons with media standards can cause an individual with high levels of CSE to acquire feelings of inadequacy.
Veli Ndaba is a NeuroEngineering Leadership Effect Speaker and Trainer, Brain Coach and Author of four books (You Are Born to Win, Your Dream is Calling You and SWITCH ON! And Set Your Soul On Fire!) and Newspaper Columnist. To book him to speak at your next event or to help you and your team unleash your greatness, Are You Externally or Internally Driven?
Contact Us at WeSpeak Global and follow us on Twitter
The articles, video and images embedded on these pages are from various speakers and talent.
These remain the property of its owner and are not affiliated with or endorsed by WeSpeak Global.
How many times have you written off an entire company based on your interactions with ONE employee? Don’t make the choice Xfinity made… A few weeks ago I got a call out of the blue that left me so shocked I have to share the story. Let’s get into it… We’ve all been […]
On Culture and Leadership, WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE SAFER THAN A RIGID RULE…? Can debate produce greater safety than rules? Isn’t the iron-clad rule a surer safeguard against disaster? We tend to think of organisations like NASA as having more or less the same basic character despite the passage of years. But it’s not necessarily […]
One top tip you need to maintaining a high level of engagement among all parties in any meeting is a challenge. But, doing it in a video-led environment makes the real-world challenge look like child’s play so Learn the one top tip. If you have spent any time on video calls up to now, you […]
How to make change work for you, As human beings, we don’t look at change and think, “Hmmm I want more of that.” Given my own relationship to and with change, I challenged myself to figure out why this is true. Why do we avoid change? Why does change create stress, fear and uncertainty? The […]
Know What You Want and Success is actually fairly simple. Firstly, set a goal. Then break it down into actionable activities. Do the activities. Add in some patience, resilience, hard work and discipline, and voila…..Success! Easy, right? Well, if it were that simple, we wouldn’t need an entire industry dedicated to motivation, training and coaching. […]
Before the pandemic, we saw a clear Qubit mindset trend in evolving away from binary thinking and extending our thinking to the endless possibilities between 1 and 0. Gender identity no longer has to correspond with the one ‘given’ at birth. Business profit could go hand in hand with improved human and societal justice. Embracing […]
Be a Force for Good in the wake of some of the recent events in the world and in light of so much of what we’ve all been through the past few years, I’ve been finding it challenging to focus on the good stuff and Be a Force for Good, even though this is at […]
My mind jumped from one random thought to the next, my heart raced, and my mouth went dry, Using Are Eustressed to fuel performance. Radio calls were being made, but I wasn’t processing what was being said. I was behind the aircraft. I was experiencing a helmet fire. In reality, I was sitting securely in […]
Our Mission
© All rights reserved 2025. Created using VOXEL THEME
