Author: Veli Ndaba
“How you see yourself determines what you see for yourself, Are You Externally or Internally Driven?.” Veli Ndaba – ‘The NeuroEngineer’ Self-esteem represents an overall evaluation of oneself – the extent to which one feels positively rather than negatively toward oneself – and views oneself as a person of value and worth. Contingent self-esteem is […]
“How you see yourself determines what you see for yourself, Are You Externally or Internally Driven?.” Veli Ndaba – ‘The NeuroEngineer’
Self-esteem represents an overall evaluation of oneself – the extent to which one feels positively rather than negatively toward oneself – and views oneself as a person of value and worth. Contingent self-esteem is self-esteem that depends on meeting self-imposed standards or expectations for performance, approval, or acceptance in order to be maintained. Contingent means: dependent, conditional, subject to, based on, determined by.
Contingent self-esteem (CSE) is self-esteem based on the approval of others or on social comparisons. Certain events will shape one’s self-esteem when the individual bases their self-worth on the outcome of those events. The success or failure of any situation can result in fluctuations of an individual’s self-esteem and if they are Externally or Internally Driven.
A manifestation of someone with contingent self-esteem is excessive self-consciousness. Such excessive self-consciousness, as occurs with contingent self-esteem, involves extreme criticism of one’s self, concern of how they are perceived by their peers, and feelings of discomfort in social settings. One’s self-esteem is directly affected when domains of contingencies are used to measure one’s self-worth. Self-esteem can also be affected when an individual compares their appearance or success to that of someone else or when their self-esteem is contingent to the relationships around them.
People with high levels of CSE are prone to making social comparisons based on appearance. As a result, these individuals more than often feel diminished. Appearance related social comparisons are comparisons of one’s perceived appearance to the appearance of other people. Those who make social comparisons base their feelings of self-worth on meeting social standards and expectations.
Social media is notorious for creating unrealistic standards of beauty, success and happiness. Comparisons with media standards can cause an individual with high levels of CSE to acquire feelings of inadequacy.
Veli Ndaba is a NeuroEngineering Leadership Effect Speaker and Trainer, Brain Coach and Author of four books (You Are Born to Win, Your Dream is Calling You and SWITCH ON! And Set Your Soul On Fire!) and Newspaper Columnist. To book him to speak at your next event or to help you and your team unleash your greatness, Are You Externally or Internally Driven?
Contact Us at WeSpeak Global and follow us on Twitter
The articles, video and images embedded on these pages are from various speakers and talent.
These remain the property of its owner and are not affiliated with or endorsed by WeSpeak Global.
Brands don’t have values or Employee Motivation. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pull the rug out from under you so quickly, but it needed to be said. Before you close this article thinking “that’s absolute rubbish”, just wait a moment. Dust yourself off. Sit back down, have some coffee. Ready? Brands do not have […]
My South Africa was not supposed to be a hit. Ingrid Jones contacted me late on a Sunday night to explain the concept and to urge me to do a ‘quick one’ for an inflight magazine. I did the piece in less than an hour and went to sleep. Next thing I heard was that […]
I posted this about Hole in the Wall and Coffee Bay yesterday for Incredible Adventure Destinations . It’s a classic view of EsiKhaleni! This is a series of 9 episodes taking you on another Wild Journey into the heart of South African Adventure traveling. Follow explorer and adventurer Peter Van Kets and photographers, Jacques Marais, […]
I’ve been studying growth lately — human Growth Through Discomfort — and the most common models out there seem to be a bit misleading. Or, at the very least, incomplete. You’ve probably seen something that looks like this: It plays up the purely positive aspects of growth without at least an acknowledgment of the discomfort […]
WIFU: What’s in it for you, to read this? If you are ‘time-poor’, and therefore don’t have time to read this article right now, then simply use the acronym: BOOST© to ask yourself five questions: B = Bed- Do you wake up refreshed? O = Oxygen- Do you get enough oxygen to your brain throughout […]
At 26 years old, Tramayne Monaghan was the youngest divisional CFO for Tencent and a Top-35-under-35. He has spoken at global conferences and is a mentor to three digital businesses: Broadley Speaking, African Secret and TurnUp Music. He has launched and run various consumer mobile products such as WeChat, WeChat Wallet, VOOV, JOOX and PUBG […]
Excited to share the big news that I’ve been talking with many of you about already! The Launch You’ve Been Waiting For. How to Get Results #NoMatterWhat, It turns out there’s actually proven science around how to get results #NoMatterWhat. It’s all too clear that this is still a really tough time for many people […]
To risk or not to Risk – could I cope with 12 pairs of gloves? The quandary: There’s a question on many female’s hearts and minds this week as the 29th looms ahead about whether to really pop THE question. It might also be on everyone’s hearts and minds wondering if they might be the […]
Our Mission
© All rights reserved 2025. Created using VOXEL THEME
