Author: Veli Ndaba
“How you see yourself determines what you see for yourself, Are You Externally or Internally Driven?.” Veli Ndaba – ‘The NeuroEngineer’ Self-esteem represents an overall evaluation of oneself – the extent to which one feels positively rather than negatively toward oneself – and views oneself as a person of value and worth. Contingent self-esteem is […]
“How you see yourself determines what you see for yourself, Are You Externally or Internally Driven?.” Veli Ndaba – ‘The NeuroEngineer’
Self-esteem represents an overall evaluation of oneself – the extent to which one feels positively rather than negatively toward oneself – and views oneself as a person of value and worth. Contingent self-esteem is self-esteem that depends on meeting self-imposed standards or expectations for performance, approval, or acceptance in order to be maintained. Contingent means: dependent, conditional, subject to, based on, determined by.
Contingent self-esteem (CSE) is self-esteem based on the approval of others or on social comparisons. Certain events will shape one’s self-esteem when the individual bases their self-worth on the outcome of those events. The success or failure of any situation can result in fluctuations of an individual’s self-esteem and if they are Externally or Internally Driven.
A manifestation of someone with contingent self-esteem is excessive self-consciousness. Such excessive self-consciousness, as occurs with contingent self-esteem, involves extreme criticism of one’s self, concern of how they are perceived by their peers, and feelings of discomfort in social settings. One’s self-esteem is directly affected when domains of contingencies are used to measure one’s self-worth. Self-esteem can also be affected when an individual compares their appearance or success to that of someone else or when their self-esteem is contingent to the relationships around them.
People with high levels of CSE are prone to making social comparisons based on appearance. As a result, these individuals more than often feel diminished. Appearance related social comparisons are comparisons of one’s perceived appearance to the appearance of other people. Those who make social comparisons base their feelings of self-worth on meeting social standards and expectations.
Social media is notorious for creating unrealistic standards of beauty, success and happiness. Comparisons with media standards can cause an individual with high levels of CSE to acquire feelings of inadequacy.
Veli Ndaba is a NeuroEngineering Leadership Effect Speaker and Trainer, Brain Coach and Author of four books (You Are Born to Win, Your Dream is Calling You and SWITCH ON! And Set Your Soul On Fire!) and Newspaper Columnist. To book him to speak at your next event or to help you and your team unleash your greatness, Are You Externally or Internally Driven?
Contact Us at WeSpeak Global and follow us on Twitter
The articles, video and images embedded on these pages are from various speakers and talent.
These remain the property of its owner and are not affiliated with or endorsed by WeSpeak Global.
The relentless pace and uncertainty of business today is taking a serious toll on all of us. Mental Health Leadership Priority might strive to be purpose-driven, impactful and innovative, but they are often hijacked by constant crisis management and the pressure to give everyone a voice. As if that’s not enough, add in the exhaustion […]
The 4 Types Of People You Need On Your Leadership Team can be related to this powerful book, Think Like A Monk, I believe Jay Shetty gives us a reason why we so often feel let down by those we look to as we grow as leaders. He writes, “We tend to expect every person to […]
Extreme explorer, Cipla Foundation trustee and ambassador, David Grier, the First person to run The Great Wall of China in both directions and fellow extreme athlete, Andrew Stuart have passed the half-way mark of their gruelling 70-day, 4200 kilometre journey across the Great Wall of China. This challenge is a feat that Grier already […]
Today I tried to count how many minutes of the last two decades I spent holding my breath being Comfortably Uncomfortable. Decade one of freediving competitively where I would train several five minute breath-holds a week with a maximum of just over six minutes every other days. Hundreds of dives down to 20 then 30 […]
We all end up needing to have an Uncomfortable Conversations. We may have to share with someone our unmet expectations, disappointment, or actual annoyance. This could be with a direct report, our boss, a peer, a spouse, or maybe even a child. No one likes these situations, but we must deal with them appropriately in […]
I promised that I would unpack my personal Habits That Help You Thrive! and give you examples of my high value, low value and time stealer habits. Keep reading to get insights into: My top 5 high-value habits Examples of each habit category High-value habits that you can add Low-value habits that can be transformed […]
The Survival Guide, originally written for overworked and underappreciated public servants, offers ten checkpoints that signal burnout. After sharing this popular workshop based on the book with audiences filled with clerks, librarians, planners, firefighters, administrators, and many other municipal groups, the private sector came calling. Who cares about Public Servants and a The Survival Guide? Why? Because […]
A lot has happened in the past few years since my book, We’re Really All In This Together: Creating a Team Culture of High Performance, Trust, and Belonging, was first published in the spring of 2020. I completed the manuscript for this book (which was just released this week in paperback) at the end of 2019. I […]
Our Mission
© All rights reserved 2025. Created using VOXEL THEME
