Why We Must Stay Optimistic During Setbacks

11 days ago was the last time I have been outside and even had the privilege to go for a car ride which gave me the promise of perspective.

I had just returned home from the hospital, hopped up on all kinds of meds my body has never felt before, never been through surgery in my life, as my 44-year old body slinked out of the minivan with new crutches, entire leg in a brace, not permitted to bend the newly re-wired knee and torn patellar tendon for 3 months.

Helped from the car, to the steps, I breathed heavily as the meds forced a migraine and I just needed to get in the house, in the dark, to lay down and pass out.

Before I could get in, a neighbor walking by said a most perspective filled comment, as he observed my struggle getting up to my house.

“Hey! Looks like you’re in pain and suffering with that leg injury!” he said.

I tried to play it off, “I’m sure it will be fine, my first surgery! Tore my leg up pretty bad,” I said.

He returned with, “Well, you know what would have been worse?” 

“What?” I asked.

“Well, you could have burned to death! That would have been worse! Am I right?” as he laughed.

“Yes”, I said, “That would have been worse. Or maybe a shark attack?” was all I could muster as a comeback to my neighbor’s demented attempt at humor.

“I don’t know! Give me the sharks over the flame! Yo yo!” he laughed as he continued his walk.

I lumbered inside just in time to throw up and sleep for as long as possible.

~

The Promise of Perspective | Jason Hewlett

I share this “perspective” experience from my neighbor, his dark humor, as he could have just said best of luck to you. But I mean, his Netflix Special, if he does decide to go into comedy, would certainly be “lit”.

Yet the funny thing is that few people know what to say when others are going through difficult things. Putting anything in “perspective” is hard to time it right, say it right, and do it right, so proceed with caution, or you may end up in a blog like mine as the bad example.  

I also received touching messages from friends who revealed illnesses I didn’t know they suffered with, and peers who wanted to say something and sent uplifting stories, humor, playfulness, and spiritual thoughts.

I appreciate all of the effort. Some of it did put my situation into perspective. All of it made me feel that they cared.

My best friend, Quinn Dietlein, randomly calls and asks, “Do you have 3 minutes?”

Which, of course I do, as he and his family band, my favorite band, Waiting For James, break into song over the phone (to hear them please check out their web site, cutest thing of all time).

The best person who nailed the humor was my friend Chad Hymas who made me scream out loud laughing with his comment. If you know Chad, he is a quadriplegic and world-famous speaker who travels the world in his wheelchair, so this is the perfect way to have perspective and do humor.

Perspective is tough to have, unless someone has had pretty much the exact same experience as you, or something obviously worse. And even then, it may still seem foreign how we should communicate with each other.

I appreciate perspective, I appreciate humor, I actually love dark humor, and burning to death humor aside, I can say I’m glad anyone would think they should attempt to go there with me even when I’m gussied up on all the pain meds.

The Promise of Perspective is to do all we can to find sympathy when we can’t express empathy, and the rest of the time to either just offer a heart emoji, a tear emoji, or a bro hug of shared sorrow for the pains we all suffer.

No need to compare suffer stories, this isn’t a competition.

Not all injuries are created equal.

Leave the fire jokes to the ones in the furnace.

~

We have kept the funny coming, and The Promise is alive and well with this experience. Thanks to my son, Redford, for his help with this funny video we made in case you missed it:

Special Thanks to the many who have called, texted, sent cookies, food, rendered service, and other blessings we weren’t expecting but truly have needed, here are just a few photos of the givers and helpers in our life.

A very most special thanks to my angel Mother, Marsha, who has been here for over 2 weeks and I don’t think has slept the entire time, as well as my sister, Heather, who continues to come and massage my atrophying body so I can at least try to sleep. My Dad also has given me a “life-preserver” gift, as I toss to and fro in the waves of my current situation, that is beyond generous. Of course, Tami, and the children, have been amazing to help and hug and serve…and be patient with their unable to move much dad.

Evan Christensen and Tyler Bastian gave me a beautiful blessing pre-surgery

Patellar Tendon Tear Kneecap Injury 7-14-22

Kneecap on top of leg

New Leg!

Fruit Treat from my amazing assistant Heidi and her family

Honored by this post from my friend Dave Crenshaw promoting the coaching I’m doing for speaker

Heather, my Sister, Massaging me daily

In-Laws Visiting – my Mother-in-Law Diane has had knee replacement surgery on the same knee twice

Tami and Courtney

My Daughter Ella snuggling me in bed as all I want is to hug my kids

 And a quick message to all of my clients who await my performances in August – I am healing FAST!

I will be there and it will be unforgettable for every attendee.

I will be on crutches and will need to not run like a Raptor, but I will be there.

We will have laughs til you cry. We will have an amazing time. Can’t wait to get back on stage and out of this dang bed!

I Promise it will be incredible. See you soon.

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