[rank_math_breadcrumb]

Beware the Algorithmic Inequality Trap

  • San Diego, California, United States

Author:  Craig Wing

Short Description

As a keynote speaker on the topics of leadership, connection, resilience, and relationships, I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about Choose Compassion Over Empathy over the past year and Why Leaders Must Choose Compassion Over Empathy. In fact, in my virtual presentations on personal connection, I quickly became aware of the buzzwords associated […]

As a keynote speaker on the topics of leadership, connection, resilience, and relationships, I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about Choose Compassion Over Empathy over the past year and Why Leaders Must Choose Compassion Over Empathy. In fact, in my virtual presentations on personal connection, I quickly became aware of the buzzwords associated with the COVID-19 lockdown; authenticity, mindfulness, empathy and compassion.

During the worst of the pandemic, executive leaders and their managers doled out a great deal of empathetic advice to their co-workers and subordinates.

An example of one such response might be: “Susan, wow! I truly don’t know what to say as I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult it must be to home-school your children on top of all the social unrest in your community, all while trying to do your job. Thank you for trusting me with this information and being transparent about your struggles.”

At this point, Susan’s leader acknowledged her pain, made her feel heard, and even showed gratitude for her willingness to open up and share. So far, so good. But what happens next will determine whether Susan’s leader goes beyond empathy and chooses compassion.

Empathy Gets in the Way of Compassion

Mary DeForest, PhD is a Denver-based author, distinguished college professor, linguist and an Ancient Greek and Latin expert. Mary knows her words! I recently asked Dr. DeForest to explain the difference between empathy and compassion.

She said that the origin of the word empathy was from the Ancient Greek. When we listen to someone with empathy, we try to become that person. The empathetic person reflects “There but for the Grace of God go I.” They want to feel what you’re experiencing.

The empathy stuff sounds impressive, doesn’t it? However, it is not that simple.

Compassion is from the Latin word “Com” and means with or together, and “Passion” more literally means suffering alongside of someone else in need of us. Compassion can be defined as empathic concern plus the willingness to take action to help. It is not enough to feel someone’s pain, you must help them cope.

Why Leaders Must Choose Compassion Over Empathy

In other words, if Susan’s leader closed the conversation with a quick fix of encouragement such as, “Things will get better,” or “You are strong, and I’m sure you will get through this,” they have shown zero compassion.

Psychologists seem to indicate that empathy without compassion may be one way to lose dear friends or valued employees.

Veronika Tait, Ph.D. writing for Psychology Today in an article entitled “Turn Empathy Into Compassion Without the Empathic Distress…” states: “While the benefits of empathy are clear, humans are much more likely to empathize with people they view as a part of their in-group. We are prone to create groups of us versus them. For example, neuroscience researchers have found that people experience greater vicarious empathic responses for people of their own ethnicity compared to other-ethnicity members.”

Dr. Tait also tells us that using empathy instead of compassion sets us up for bias. We stop connecting with the people who need us, and instead, we start dividing people into them and us.

Rasmus Hougaard writing for Forbes magazine reflected this very point in his article entitled “Why Compassion is Better for Humanity than Empathy”: “Empathy is an important, foundational emotion for human connection…but on its own, without compassion, empathy is a danger for leaders…and when we empathize with those close to us, those who are not close are different and seem threatening. When unchecked, empathy can create more division than unity.”

The last thing any leader should desire is division.

 

Connect Through Compassion

If we accept the ancient Roman thought that compassion is “suffering alongside of someone else in need of us,” we quickly understand that the compassionate and truly connected leader strives to offer guidance or resources or direction to the employee to help available within the organization. If we care as leaders, then we must suffer just a bit alongside of those we lead.

Interestingly, the compassionate leader does not need heavy doses of empathy, but rather needs to understand that a valued employee within the organization may require their nurturing, problem solving and support.

In Susan’s case, if her leader determined and implemented solutions to offer support through employee resource groups or temporarily lightened her current workload, adjusted her hours or removed daily meeting expectations, they moved beyond empathy toward compassionate leadership. As always, actions speak louder than words.

Compassion demands connection. Compassion is a call for all of us to help those around us. It is also a statement of reciprocity. Those of us in a position to help may one day need help. We are, after-all, interconnected in our humanity. Compassion revels in that connection and is strengthened by it. The most compassionate of people are often the most deeply human.

At the heart of every sale, every interaction between a leader and a team member, every conversation with a customer…. is a connection. And most importantly, connection begins within. How to make those connections effective, and leverage them for greater success, is the thread that is woven into every one of Colette Carlson’s presentations. For more information on Colette’s customized, virtual or in-person programs, give us a call.

 

Contact Us at WeSpeak Global and follow us on Twitter

Author Profile

No results available

Read further articles in similar categories

The articles, video and images embedded on these pages are from various speakers and talent.

These remain the property of its owner and are not affiliated with or endorsed by WeSpeak Global.

Similar to Beware the Algorithmic Inequality Trap

Sterling Hawkins | Predictable Results

The only way to succeed is to continuously improve and so, Success is simple The Japanese have a name for it: Kaizen. And Kaizen is all about consistency. If you’ll forgive/indulge me, let’s use me, and this photo, as the vehicle for this discussion here. It’s probably evident even from the above low res version […]

  • Author: Lorne Sulcas
Sterling Hawkins | Predictable Results

Take charge of your digital habits and screen time and the added pressure of being available 24/7 can make you feel trapped and unsure of where to start. Do you reach for your phone without thinking about it? Do you interrupt a conversation to click on Instagram or WhatsApp the moment you see a notification […]

  • Author: Rianette Liebowitz
Sterling Hawkins | Predictable Results

We have been waiting, hoping, praying, and looking forward to Managing the Flood Gates for over a year—people are ready to meet again.  Clients are sending RFPs (Request for Proposal), booking events, and are considering various cities to host their events. We are once again seeing increased interest in utilizing our DMC (Destination Management Company) services in Asheville. Clients want DMC planning time for Charlotte. They […]

  • Author: Mosaix Group
Sterling Hawkins | Predictable Results

I was fantasising about a new Outlook feature today. No really, I  am that sad! Here was my fantasy, Stop inviting everyone whenever you create a new meeting event, there is a little box showing the estimated meeting cost. This cost should double as you double the length of the meeting and also double when […]

  • Author: Leon Bamforth
Sterling Hawkins | Predictable Results

We all want to come up with the BIG Little Breakthroughs and the winning idea, solve the challenging problem, or invent something major that will become a staple for generations to come. Under pressure, it’s easy to freeze up and procrastinate. We get the false assumption that the only ideas that are important are the BIG […]

  • Author: Josh Linkner
Sterling Hawkins | Predictable Results

To risk or not to Risk – could I cope with 12 pairs of gloves? The quandary: There’s a question on many female’s hearts and minds this week as the 29th looms ahead about whether to really pop THE question. It might also be on everyone’s hearts and minds wondering if they might be the […]

  • Author: Kate Emmerson
Sterling Hawkins | Predictable Results

From childhood through college I found Good Storytellers, I studied music as a classically trained pianist. I took lessons from masterful teachers, practiced every week, played in recitals, and did everything a good piano student does.   You could put almost any sheet music in front of me, and I could play it. There was […]

  • Author: Kelly Swanson
Sterling Hawkins | Predictable Results

I’ve always been a fan of the multitude of skills that Leonardo da Vinci brought to the world to REACH PERFECTION. A painter, draughtsman, engineer, scientist, theorist, sculptor and architect (thanks Wikipedia), his art – in whichever format it was created – is well-known across the planet, throughout history. Stories shared through time explain his commitment to […]

  • Author: Don Packett

Our Mission

We are your partner creating memorable and engaging experiences that go beyond the event itself.

© All rights reserved 2025. Created using VOXEL THEME