Author: Jones Loflin
Let’s imagine for a moment that you are a gardener. Do any of the actions below seem like a good idea and Why Being Too Helpful Is A Bad Habit For Leaders? Planting a seed and then digging it back up from time to time to check its progress Forcing open a flower bud […]
Let’s imagine for a moment that you are a gardener. Do any of the actions below seem like a good idea and Why Being Too Helpful Is A Bad Habit For Leaders?
Planting a seed and then digging it back up from time to time to check its progress
Forcing open a flower bud with your fingernails because it isn’t opening fast enough
Pulling on a tree limb because it’s not growing fast enough to provide shade
Hopefully you answered a resounding NO to all three of these scenarios. Any of those actions will inhibit the healthy growth of the seed, flower, or plant. Interestingly enough however, you CAN influence the environment each of these items are in to accelerate the desired outcomes.
In a similar way, I believe some leaders and managers practice poor “gardening” techniques with the people on their team when they are too helpful. They think that giving others all the answers to the situations they encounter will result in a healthy team member. It won’t. They are actually creating someone who will be dependent on them to solve future issues or challenges because they haven’t cultivated their analytical thinking skills, creativity, or confidence in their abilities.
Giving all the answers doesn’t create a healthy team member.
Ultimately, the leader’s time available for strategic-thinking talent development is severely limited.
Before we explore solutions to this bad habit, let’s look at some potential root causes:
You have an unhealthy view of what it means to be “nice” in your leadership role
In her insightful article, When Being Nice Backfires, Nicole Lipkin writes, “‘Nice’ shouldn’t mean being a pushover, always saying yes, being incapable of giving constructive feedback…. Nice needs to be defined as having a positive impact on your people and the organization as a whole.”
You’re too busy
When your day is over-scheduled with meetings, putting out fires, and trying to keep your inbox in check, quickly dishing out answers can make you feel like you’re getting things done. What you are actually doing is robbing yourself of a more sane future because you aren’t growing your team’s ability to think creatively and be more independent.
You aren’t meeting with your team members with a healthy consistency
One of the greatest attributes of a successful gardener is that they regularly check their plants to assess their growth and identify their needs. If you’re not doing regular check ins with each team member consistently, you probably feel bad when they bring you a litany of questions and challenges with which they need your guidance. So… you reason that the most kind thing to do would be to give them all the answers as a way to make up for not being there for them. It might make you feel better, but have you really helped them to grow?
Is doing too much of their work the consequence of you feeling guilty that you aren’t leading them well?
If you’re feeling a little like that gardener I described in the beginning, here are two suggestions to create a more healthy environment for their growth (and yours!):
Challenge Your Impulse To Be Too Helpful
Before you drift to an unhealthy level of helping, ask yourself, “Will taking this action improve the ability of this team member to solve problems on their own in the future?” or “Is this going to help the organization build future leaders?” or even “Is this action going to help me grow this team member so that I can rely on them for bigger things in the future?” If the answer is no, consider one of the options below to improve your approach.
Ask More And Tell Less
When a team member comes to you seeking advice or guidance, resist the urge to immediately tell them an answer. Instead, be prepared with questions like:
What actions have you taken so far to solve the problem?
What do you think needs to be done in this situation?
Tell me what you see as the main issue here.
What do you think we should do next to address the issue?
What solution would you choose if I wasn’t here?
What solution do you think I’m going to offer?
How can I help you take the next step?
And don’t forget… when you ask these questions, really listen to their ideas.
Use The GROW Method
G-R-O-W has been around as a coaching structure since the 1970’s. It’s an effective tool to use anytime you want to guide someone to taking action. Here’s how it works:
You start by asking them the GOAL with the situation.
Next you have them share the REALITY of where things are. This helps show the gap that has to be addressed to achieve the goal.
You then start brainstorming OPTIONS with them, using questions like the ones I mentioned previously. Tell them that no ideas are too ridiculous at this point. You just want to get them thinking.
Finish the conversation by determining the WAY FORWARD. What is the next action they can take to address the problem? And how can you help them take that action?
I like using this method because it challenges them to think in terms of goals and not just quick fixes.
Stop and ask yourself, “Am I choosing this approach to help them grow, or just to show them how much I know?”
I hear your rebuttal. You’re saying, “But I don’t have time to do this! I’ve already got too much on my plate.” Hmmm. Let’s see why that’s the case. Could one reason be because you’re spending too much time on small problems your team members should be handling on their own?
Maybe it’s time for you to think more like a gardener.
Contact Us at WeSpeak Global and follow us on Twitter
Author Profile
No results available
ResetThe articles, video and images embedded on these pages are from various speakers and talent.
These remain the property of its owner and are not affiliated with or endorsed by WeSpeak Global.
Technology in the Drivers Seat is in most of the tasks we perform in our day-to-day life, having an assistant to help us can make things much easier. For that reason, one of the latest trends in technology has been the creation of virtual assistants. Usually, these help systems are connected to our phones, and […]
This expedition was the first in a series of five Beyond Engulfing Magnificence Expeditions with Jacques Marais. The idea was to mountain bike the edge of the incredible Namib Desert from Serra Cafema on the Angolan border to Swakopmund along the coast of Namibia. I’m on the edge of a gigantic granite outcrop. Ep.2/9 | Engulfing […]
Three small steps to help you use New Research Authentic Leadership as your strategy to improve engagement and retain your talent. It seems just about every day your news feed has a new article talking about the (admittedly catchy) “Great Resignation. And geez, so sorry about adding yet another. I’m guessing just about every leader […]
We are only as unified as our loneliest team or Disconnected Worker community members. No one is immune to feeling lonely at work—not even the outgoing top sales associate, the customer success representative that brings her dog into the office, or the charming vice president who always declines every happy hour invitation due to “overcommitments.” Entry-level […]
If SA is to live, its leaders must stop feasting on dead ideas and There are several reasons why Venezuelan polymath Moises Naim claims the attention of posterity. He served as the minister of trade and industry in his homeland when that country was the richest in South America. Afterward, he edited prestigious journal Foreign […]
If you’re struggling to Become A Better Presenter, or are new to the field, here are some ideas that I’ve incorporated in my 28 years as a keynote speaker/presenter. Feel free to check them out and see if any can help you along the way! 1) Know your audience better than they know themselves […]
In his new book, “Can’t Hurt Me,” David Goggins, who many call the “toughest man alive,” recalls how he overcame a difficult childhood to become a Navy SEAL. He sits down with Craig Melvin to discuss the lessons he learned about the body’s capabilities. READ FULL ARTICLE Contact Us at WeSpeak Global and […]
Chris Bertish | Captains Log 13th June 13th -17th June 29 05’474 N 128 01’447W Pacific Ocean Milestones-The waterline/ Hatches & rouge waves/MOB take 2 -Injuries /Slow is pro / It’s all shifting / Maslow’s hierarchy of Needs / Story of the clever turd! / Shifting spaces / Into the light.. Breakthrough/ Flicker on! / […]
No results available
ResetOur Mission
© All rights reserved 2024. Created using VOXEL THEME
1902 Wright Place, Carlsbad, CA, 92008